Tech and the Ten year old

Woke up this morning to 2 emails letting me know several purchases totaling $35 had been made by a certain child on his iTouch for apps.  My first reaction, how could you, I specifically instructed you to come ask me before you made any purchases.  His first reaction, 'I didn't know they weren't free.'  A little more digging and he admits, I knew they weren't free.  Then why, why would you buy them without my permission? 'Take it away mom, it's too hard', he says with tears in his eyes.  Now, at first thought, he's manipulating me right?  Tears in my 10 years old eyes will make me melt and I'll give him a hug and say it's ok.  But second thought, he's not manipulating me, he's a 10 year old asking me to help him, he hasn't learned self-control nor has he learned the value of a dollar.  Who's fault is that?  Mine.  Who gave him the iTouch?  Me.  Does a 10 year old need another piece of technology where he can purchase video game apps with the touch of a button?  No.  Are there other ways to teach a kid self-control?  Certainly.  So if I give a kid an iTouch and then get a bill for $35 I shouldn't be surprised and if he asks me to take it away because it's too much for him to handle, I should listen and recognize that Collin is growing up in this time when technology is abundant, where it's possible to spend an entire day playing video games, downloading apps, texting friends, etc.  If it's overwhelming to me, it's double for him.  The self-control is on my back to teach him and also for me to exercise when what I want most is to see a smile on my kids face, which disppears upon the word 'no', you can't play that, you can't have that, turn that off, or I'm taking this away.  It's tough, but it's necessary. 

Yesterday we spent the afternoon at a park in Houston, outside under the trees, reading books all afternoon.  Collin was enjoying every minute.  We went to the butterfly museum the day before with Stefanie who came down for a visit from Dallas this weekend.  Beautiful weather and great times to spend together outside away from everything else.  When we came home though, after writing his book report, Collin went straight to the iTouch.  So...great, I got him outside for a while, but now I've got to go the extra step.  It's obvious to me that kids aren't supposed to have this stuff, even though it's marketed to them at every turn, it's not meant for creative little brains that could be doing so much more.  I thought that I'd be able to just say no to all these gadgets and games when Collin reached the age of wanting them.  But, I haven't, technology is everywhere and every kid has access to it, so what do I do?  I put limits on the amount of time he spends in front of a screen of some sort and yet he's still overwhelmed.  'Mom, I can't handle it, it's too hard.'  That's what we parents are here for, to set limits, teach our kids how to use all those creative sparks we see in them, how to say no, how to pass on things that are thrown in our face and how to enjoy a day with nothing to do.  Collin is going to camp this week with his school, an outdoor science camp where he'll spend all the time outside away from all these distractions that are right here in his very own home.  When he comes back he'll find that I've spent the week having heard his request for help putting away the things that are too much for him to handle.  I don't know if he'll say thank you, but someday maybe when he has his own kids he will.  That's got to be something I'm willing to do now for him and wait for the thank you later knowing there will be arguments today.  Ah, parenting, 'mom, it's so hard.'