Drafted but never published.

Updates to "Life at the Troiani Home"  temporarily ceased after a comment was made on one of my posts which read, "are you getting a little bored at home?"  Which may or may not have been meant as discouragement to continue writing, but I discontinued nonetheless.   I was in fact not bored at home I had something to say to those who were interested and I took the time to write it down.  Much like I'm doing now as I bounce up and down on a big excercise ball with Andrew attached to me in the Moby wrap, which is to say that this is taking some effort to type, read it or skip it, just don't tell me I must be bored for heaven sakes.  There's plenty to do around here.

Tech and the Ten year old

Woke up this morning to 2 emails letting me know several purchases totaling $35 had been made by a certain child on his iTouch for apps.  My first reaction, how could you, I specifically instructed you to come ask me before you made any purchases.  His first reaction, 'I didn't know they weren't free.'  A little more digging and he admits, I knew they weren't free.  Then why, why would you buy them without my permission? 'Take it away mom, it's too hard', he says with tears in his eyes.  Now, at first thought, he's manipulating me right?  Tears in my 10 years old eyes will make me melt and I'll give him a hug and say it's ok.  But second thought, he's not manipulating me, he's a 10 year old asking me to help him, he hasn't learned self-control nor has he learned the value of a dollar.  Who's fault is that?  Mine.  Who gave him the iTouch?  Me.  Does a 10 year old need another piece of technology where he can purchase video game apps with the touch of a button?  No.  Are there other ways to teach a kid self-control?  Certainly.  So if I give a kid an iTouch and then get a bill for $35 I shouldn't be surprised and if he asks me to take it away because it's too much for him to handle, I should listen and recognize that Collin is growing up in this time when technology is abundant, where it's possible to spend an entire day playing video games, downloading apps, texting friends, etc.  If it's overwhelming to me, it's double for him.  The self-control is on my back to teach him and also for me to exercise when what I want most is to see a smile on my kids face, which disppears upon the word 'no', you can't play that, you can't have that, turn that off, or I'm taking this away.  It's tough, but it's necessary. 

Yesterday we spent the afternoon at a park in Houston, outside under the trees, reading books all afternoon.  Collin was enjoying every minute.  We went to the butterfly museum the day before with Stefanie who came down for a visit from Dallas this weekend.  Beautiful weather and great times to spend together outside away from everything else.  When we came home though, after writing his book report, Collin went straight to the iTouch.  So...great, I got him outside for a while, but now I've got to go the extra step.  It's obvious to me that kids aren't supposed to have this stuff, even though it's marketed to them at every turn, it's not meant for creative little brains that could be doing so much more.  I thought that I'd be able to just say no to all these gadgets and games when Collin reached the age of wanting them.  But, I haven't, technology is everywhere and every kid has access to it, so what do I do?  I put limits on the amount of time he spends in front of a screen of some sort and yet he's still overwhelmed.  'Mom, I can't handle it, it's too hard.'  That's what we parents are here for, to set limits, teach our kids how to use all those creative sparks we see in them, how to say no, how to pass on things that are thrown in our face and how to enjoy a day with nothing to do.  Collin is going to camp this week with his school, an outdoor science camp where he'll spend all the time outside away from all these distractions that are right here in his very own home.  When he comes back he'll find that I've spent the week having heard his request for help putting away the things that are too much for him to handle.  I don't know if he'll say thank you, but someday maybe when he has his own kids he will.  That's got to be something I'm willing to do now for him and wait for the thank you later knowing there will be arguments today.  Ah, parenting, 'mom, it's so hard.' 

Somewhere around 19 weeks!

This time around....

So I've never been one to comment on the energy in the room, a women's aura or hell even make a positive comment about a group of women.  Really not a big fan of large groups of women.  Which is why it took alot of positive 'you can do it' talk in my head to make the trek to the 'Motherhood Center'.  ooooo..even at the name, I shudder.  So it was what 10 years ago when I was expecting Collin, I was 18 and naturally everyone else expecting was late twenties early thirties at least.  And upon my arrival into baby classes, maternity stores and kiddo boutiques groups of women would stop look at me and the 'nice' one in the bunch would say, 'are you pregnant? are you old enough to be pregnant?' To which my answer was always well, no..but kind of...I mean, are you asking about technicalities because in that case yes but no if you mean that I must have just graduated high school.  It was never a good conversation.  I began to avoid any situation which involved a pack of women.  Until now.  I had to get off the couch, I had to get some exercise, so I googled 'pregnancy fitness' and up popped the motherhood center.  I googled again, I binged, yahood, but nothing else fit the bill like the motherhood center, so off I went.  Snuck in the back, quietly sat down on my rented mat and waited for the 'nice' one in the bunch to make comment.  Nothing happened.  No turn of the head, no hienna laughing, no stupid questions.  Then I noticed, wait, they're all...my age!  And was that a smile I just got from the corner of the room? 

Not only was I pleased of what was not present, (comments, snobishness, ladies with 'plans'), I was pleased with what was present.  There is something beautiful and peaceful about a yoga class full of women who are expecting.  We've all put aside for an hour or so our aches and pains to just be present, breathe and take care of a our bodies and therefor the life that is growing inside.  We all look ridiculous, falling over, unable to keep balanced, but our egos are put aside.  No one is concerned if they look fat or their feet are swollen to abnormal sizes, in fact we're all proud of our changing figures and there's a sense of unity between all of us.  Nothing is being said in the class, it's just an energy that I feel in the room, that leaves me feeling stronger.  I guess that's the power of a group of women coming together without judgements without egos.  I'll keep going back and who knows, maybe even make a friend amongst the group.  But I know one thing, I'm looking for the girl that looks 'too young to be pregnant' and when she enters that room, I'll make sure she feels the same unity among the pack that I do now.  Full circle my friends.  

Almost 12 Weeks!!